Chasing Other People's Dreams & Approval Instead of Your Own
The high cost of regret for not chasing your dreams and embracing your vision
What if you go on chasing the dream others have for you instead of chasing the dreams you are passionate about?
I see this happen way too often. It's such a pity!
Talented people doing work that does not inspire them or move their hearts—day in, day out, doing something that makes someone else proud and leaves them feeling empty.
In the pursuit of happiness and success, we often find ourselves influenced by the dreams and expectations others have for us. Whether it's our parents, friends, or society as a whole, we may be led astray from our true desires, the dreams that have been set forth for us.
There is a plan for you. A vision. A purpose. A dream. Most likely it has already been revealed for you. Only the dreamer can see the vividness, the fullness, and the grand details of the dream.
Many have achieved success and recognition by realizing goals that were not theirs but planted by someone else. But success doesn't equal personal satisfaction.
Author and psychologist Adam Grant, who inspired this post with a recent tweet, wrote: “In the short run, pursuing other people’s dreams earns approval. In the long run, it's a recipe for regret.”
Seeking approval is a shortcut to misery. Since you were a baby, you have been socially wired and trained to conform; to take the path of approval and validation. This path earns you acceptance or a sense of security, but over time, the true price of forsaking your dreams leads to regret.
Regret, like a relentless shadow, has a way of creeping into your life when you realize that you have neglected your own aspirations. It gnaws at your soul and fills your heart with a profound sense of longing for what could have been. When you look back on your life, the opportunities you missed, the passions you ignored, and the dreams you sacrificed become poignant reminders of the price you paid for seeking the approval of others.
Chasing the dreams of others means forsaking our own unique talents, passions, and ambitions.
Suppressing your inner desires stifles your creativity, diminishes your drive, and prevents you from reaching and realizing the fullness of your human capacity.
To live a life devoid of regret, it is crucial to chase your own dreams, aspirations, and passions. This requires self-reflection, introspection, and the courage to ignore others. It involves taking risks, facing uncertainties, and venturing into uncharted territory. But this is how true journeys of self-discovery are charted, and hidden treasures are revealed, leading to genuine and lasting fulfillment.
Regret can be a powerful motivator, nonetheless, urging you to reclaim your dreams and chase your own unique path. We need you to fulfill your own dreams rather than copy someone else. Good news is that life offers endless opportunities to redirect your life towards the aspirations that truly ignite your soul.
So, dear reader, don't let the approval of others in the short run blind you from the potential regret that awaits in the long run. Take a stand and chase your dreams despite the cost. Your dreams are precious and deeply personal. Trust in your abilities and have faith in your journey. The road will not be easy, but pursuing your dream will pave the way for a life brimming with purpose, joy, and freedom.
You are not alone. Many people go through the same process. You can also chase and achieve great things.
Moving forward:
Write down your dreams and aspirations. What do you want to achieve in life? Once you know what you want, you can start making a plan to achieve it.
Take one step towards your dreams each day. Even if it's a small step, it's still a step in the right direction.
Find a mentor, coach, or someone who can support you on your journey. Having someone to talk to and who can offer guidance can be invaluable.
Don't be afraid to fail. Failure is a part of the journey. Learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward.
Thanks for reading. Hope you've enjoyed this post. If you are stopping by, subscribe here. My goal is to share ideas that inspire action.
So true!! Thank you, Jorge!
The other day, at a (work) conference, we had this workshop in which we had to identify our desires regarding certain areas/ topics. And then we had to identify the values/motivations behind those desires, and then the values behind that value, etc... Kind of like in layers...
It was really cool, because it helped identify what's the real motivation under those desires and if those motivations were in line with who I want to be/ how I want to be, then it makes sense to move forward... Otherwise, something needs to change....
I think your post about dreams has a lot to do with this... And I realized how important it is to do this "check-ins" with our dreams quite often... To make sure our lives and choices continue to be in line with our deepest desires/dreams.